North Carolina
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Right | March 26, 2010
Customer: “Excuse me, are you the manager? I want my money back. That movie is absolutely horrible.”
Me: “Oh, what was wrong with it?”
Customer: “Well, the title is very misleading. I thought Valentine’s Day was supposed to be funny, and it’s actually a creepy, disturbing movie about insane people!”
Me: “Um, did you maybe go into the wrong theater? It sounds like you’re describing Shutter Island.”
Customer: “Oh, that might be what happened, actually. Who is that guy in it, the main guy?”
Me: “You mean Leonardo DiCaprio?”
Customer: “Oh, I love him! I’m gonna go finish the rest of that movie now.”
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Right | February 17, 2010
Caller: *sighs* “Well, I’m glad somebody decided to answer the phone over there. I’ve been trying to get through to you all day, but all I get is a busy signal!”
Me: “Ma’am, the phone has barely rung here all day. Are you sure you were calling the right number?”
Caller: “What? Of COURSE I was! I was calling the number on this here invoice you all sent me last week.”
Me: “I see. Do you mind reading the phone number to me?”
Caller: “It’s 704-366…oh. Now, wait a minute. That’s MY number. Well, no wonder I kept getting a busy signal. I’ve been calling myself all day long!”
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Right | November 13, 2009
Customer: “I want two tickets to Precious.”
Me: “I’m sorry, that doesn’t come out in this state until the 20th. It only opened limited in a few states today, but no theater in North Carolina will get it until November 20th.”
Customer: “I looked on the website! It said you had it!”
Me: “Please come inside to the customer service counter.”
(I pull up our website and the Precious movie website.)
Me: “See, both sites say that it doesn’t open here until the 20th. Sorry about the mix-up.”
Customer: “But Oprah said it would be playing!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but Oprah has no control over our movie schedules.”
Customer: “Oprah controls EVERYTHING!”
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<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> , Editors' Choice, Funny Stories, , North Carolina, Perfect Comebacks, Police, Stupid, USA |
Right | July 24, 2008
Me: “Welcome to [Movie Theater]. Can I help you?”
Customer: “Two for [R-Rated Movie].”
Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”
Customer: “I don’t have any.”
Me: “Sorry, I can’t sell you any tickets.”
Customer: “But I’m 17! I’m allowed to see it!”
Me: “Not without an ID you aren’t! And even if you had an ID, I could only sell you one. You have to be 21 to buy more than one.”
Customer: “I can’t believe this! Look, I drove here today!”
(At this point he flashes Daddy’s Mercedes keys in my face to “prove” he drove here.)
Me: “So, let me get this straight. You drove your Mercedes here without any form of ID, including a driver’s license?”
Customer: “YEAH! WHAT OF IT?!”
Me: “I’m sure the Raleigh Police Officer standing right behind you would love to have a word with you.”
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